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Bitácora personal de Guillermo Cides


Art by Mariana Crottollini (Argentina)

Dear enemy, You were there from the beginning. You saw me grow…


By Guillermo Cides

“Dear enemy,

You were there from the beginning. You saw me grow, learn, and find a way out for myself. You were there when I achieved my first personal victory, and then my second and third. I was probably sitting in the first row when I “graduate of myself” and was given a diploma whose content was simply my name. I know you supported me silently in your own way. With the cunning of the fox and the deep hatred that always moved you, there you were, present, willing, and mainly critical. Always critical of my work, whatever it may be, deserved or not, there you were looking for the error, trying to ensure that my path is not so perfect, making me strive day after day, patiently waiting for me to activate your envy trap, your bad language, and your resentment cornered in your silent room.
Over the years, I understood it. I understood that you were necessary. That you were, without knowing it, the one who pushed me more and more to improve. Not only to show you that you were not as invincible as you thought, but to prove to myself that your criticisms were not true. That your reasoning was false and that you simply wanted to be in my place. You wanted to have my name, my achievements, and my recognition.
You wanted deeply to be me.
And that was not possible because my place was always my place, and I fought for it.
Thank you. You haven’t realized that halfway through the journey, you began to be necessary to me. I was waiting for your hatred to respond with love. Your criticism, to respond with a job well done. Your bad tongues to make more friends.
Thank you. Without you, I wouldn’t have been able to achieve it. You have been a fundamental part of my life, and you have helped me build what you precisely wanted to destroy. Now I only have words of gratitude for you because you have been the counterweight of all my virtues: honor before cowards, truth before liars, gratitude before selfish people, and the beauty of things before the power of destruction.
You have done your job well, and I thank you. You have dedicated your life to making me fall, and I have improved. I have achieved my goal. I’m just worried about what you’re going to do now that I’m leaving. How will you make up for your lost time and all the energy you used to make me fail? What will become of you, my dear enemy, now that your life has passed and you have nothing left but the hatred that you have cultivated until the end of days?
On silent.
An eternal and deep silence that now no longer responds when you call.”


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